So Long, Suckas.

I survived my third round of parent-teacher conferences!  It's a long couple of days.  To add a bit of interest, our social committee always has a food-related contest.  In the Fall it's a dessert competition and in the Spring we do Dip Day. 

 

Last Spring I won Dip Day with my 7 Layer Greek Dip.  I got a lot of comments about how I just walk in and start winning stuff.  Then when I brought my super amazing best thing in the world pumpkin cheesecake in the Fall, I won again.  And people were pissed. 

 

Shit really hit the fan this year.  I made So Long Saloon's Chipotle Raspberry Black Bean Dip.  Have you had this dip?  OMG.  Amazing, right?  Of course (of course) I won.  I was up against a bunch of Velveeta cheese dips and caramel apple stuff.  HAVE YOU HAD THE RASPBERRY BLACK BEAN DIP????  Velveeta ain't gonna cut it.

 

This is not my photo.

Teachers are sore losers.  Even when our principal was announcing the winners over the intercom, he said something about how it seems a little fishy that I keep winning.  Some other comments I got:

 

"I usually like the food you make but I just didn't feel like you deserved to win this time."

 

"None of the dips were very good.  I should have made one because I would have totally won."

 

"I think we need a recount."

 

"This is bull-shit!!!"

 

Seriously.  People are rude.  Did anyone consider that I'm the Foods teacher?  I know food.  If we were having a fractions contest I would expect a math teacher to win.  If there was a birdhouse making competition I would expect the shop teacher to win.  And if there was a Spanish-speaking contest, I'd expect the Spanish teacher to win*. 

 

If there's food involved, I WILL DOMINATE!

 

Soooo... ... ... all I'm really trying to say is... go make this dip.  Or if you are in Manhappiness, go to So Long Saloon and order this dip.  It really is amazing.  And better than any dip you'll ever make from a box of processed cheese.

 

 

*Unless there was drinking involved.  I'm a fantastic Spanish-speaker when I'm drunk.  Spanish Power Hour anyone?

Bachelor Fail

I am a HUGE fan of the Bachelor and the Bachelorette.  And clearly I'm behind the times on this (Drew filled me in... he's totally a closet fan), but WTF Bachelor???  They are bringing back this guy:

Brad's season was the worst season ever.  That guy just talked all twangy the whole season about listening to his heart... but he was dumber than a box of rocks.  I kept watching because one of the girls was from Wichita, and I've got hometown pride!  Then he didn't pick anyone at the final rose ceremony.  And here's my theory:  the dummy got confused and sent both home thinking there was another gal coming up for him to marry.  After he sent them both home and no one showed up he was all, "Well shucks, I guess I goofed up.  I should have listened to my heart."  Dummy. 

I've put up with a lot from The Bachelor, but this may be the last straw.  I'm going to have to go there... I'm boycotting this season.  So take that ABC. 

P.S.  Did anyone see Ali on Fashion Police this weekend???  She was a guest host and she looked super-fabulous!  Still love that girl!

Lost Shoe

I lost a shoe. This is not funny. I lost a running shoe.

I know I'm kind of a mess, but let me tell you. The one and only area of my life that I am fully organized and capable is my shoes. I keep every single pair of shoes that I own in their original box, stacked in my closet, picture facing out, according to style and frequency of wear. The ones that don't come in a box: AKA flip flops, shoes from Old Navy, are placed in a shoe organizer that hangs neatly in my closet.

I always have three categories of running shoes. They are:

1. Long Run Shoes: These are my newest, nicest shoes. They are reserved for only long runs, on nice days when they won't get muddy.
2. Short Run Shoes: These are previous long run shoes that have transitioned to being used for all shorter runs, going to the gym, and all my Jillian Michaels DVDs.
3. Dog Walking Shoes: The short run shoes go here when they get too worn out to actually support my feet during running and look too gross to wear to the gym. I wear these when I'm walking dogs or working in the yard (that doesn't happen).

I keep my running shoes in their original box under the guest room bed, right next to where I keep my running clothes so that I have easy access. There is no where else that they should be! When I come home from running, I take off the shoes and leave them out to dry. When they have dried sufficiently so I don't think I run the risk of athlete's foot, I put them back in their box and under the bed.

There is absolutely no room for losing a shoe in this routine. But low and behold, when I went to return my short run shoe to its box yesterday, there was only one there. One shoe! WTF?? This throws off my whole routine!!! Now I have to choose between wearing my ugly, no support, dog-walking shoes out in public and risking injury... or worse... embarrassment and shame at my loser-ish shoes. OR I could wear my long-run shoes and risk getting them dirty and worn out before their time and having to invest in new long run shoes before I'm ready... what is a girl to do?!?

I know this is the work of that brown dog. I'm sure he probably picked it up, chewed it up, and hid it. I wouldn't be surprised to find that he'd also peed on it. Well Mr. Dog, no running for you until my shoe is recovered.

Oh No You Didn't.

I love The Biggest Loser. You know I love Jillian. Usually. Jillian (and Bob!) made me super mad tonight. That's right Jill, I've got beef with you.

Here's the deal. Every season on the second to last episode, the contestants run a marathon. I think this is absolutely crazy. I think the show completely down-plays the strain that a marathon puts on your body. I can tell you that it kicks my ass and I've trained for and run three over the course of several years. These contestants were completely sedentary up until a few months ago. Asking them to run 26 miles is putting enormous stress on a body that is probably under a tremendous amount of stress anyways from losing all that weight.

Whatever. Tonight was the marathon episode. The winner of the race was Daris. This is Daris before he lost all that weight:

He started the show above 300 pounds and was down below 200 when he ran the race. He kicked that marathon's ass. He finished in 4:02!!! I can only dream of running a marathon that fast! I was so impressed and inspired at his race! I cannot imagine the work he must have put in to do that. That isn't just a good time for a former fatty. That is a good time for anyone!

Fast forward to the weigh-in and Daris has actually gained two pounds since leaving the ranch. Hey man, I gain two pounds every time I train for a marathon too. No worries, right? He seems disappointed, but says that his focus was on the marathon and he is really proud of that accomplishment, even if it did hinder his weight-loss. I'm thinking, that's a really good attitude to have. I mean come on, he's at an acceptable weight, and there is more to life than winning some TV show.

Then Bob and Jillian jump in and telling him that this is bull, and that you run to lose weight, so of course it isn't hard to lose weight while training for a marathon. They say it should be easy to lose weight while training for a marathon. Umm... hello! I'm going to guess that neither of you has ever actually trained for a marathon. Because if you had, you would understand the insatiable hunger that follows a 20 mile training run. And you would understand that your hunger level doesn't go back down until long after you drop your mileage. You can't diet and run that much. It just isn't possible. You can't even eat a "normal" amount of food while marathon training. Part of a healthy training plan includes eating.

I could not believe that they were yelling at him like that. They totally ignored his unbelievable accomplishment and pushed him to lose more weight for the show. I'm sure if I were him, I'd rather brag about my bad ass marathon time and new-founded healthy lifestyle than winning a reality show whose former winners have a habit of gaining all their weight back.

I love you Jillian, but you were so out of line. And I love you Biggest Loser, but if you want your contestants to actually succeed in life beyond the finale, you shouldn't belittle them for actually living healthy lives.

Rant over.

On another note, I've totally got an itch to run a marathon.

Happy 2010

New Year's has always been one of my least favorite holidays... for a few reasons. Okay, its a fun night to get dolled up and look all cute... but it is cold. I'm more likely to hibernate in the winter than run around in heels and a cute dress. It is expensive. $100 for open bar and appetizers at a crowded bar with 500 people you don't know... not my style. Bar hopping at the Plaza or Power & Light District? Okay, that involves both cold and expensive... definitely not my kind of night. I just feel like New Year's is always built up to be some fabulous evening and it turns out being a huge hassle instead. Now I know you're thinking I'm a grumpy old fun-hater... you're probably right.

I've been pleased as punch that the rest of the crew is catching up with my aversion to the traditional New Year's events and hosting their own parties instead! I'd so much rather ring in the new year with my favorite people than at some bar or club with a bunch of strangers. :)

My wonderful, fabulous friend Heather hosts a New Year's party every year in Wichita, but sadly we weren't able to make the trip this year. So we celebrated here with Drew's friends instead.

I knew it was going to be a super fun evening when they busted out Catch Phrase!!!



And when I was greeted at the door by a furry fellow:


Johnny Walker is a 6-month old puppy and he was such a sweetheart!!! He'd just run and jump on anyone's lap and cuddle:


The award for "Clue of the Night" goes to Joe Brown for "A complex carbohydrate that you pass around". Any guesses? It's a hot potato!



They had some serious track lighting in the kitchen... spotlight on me:



10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


Cheers!!!!

And after midnight we returned to our game of Catch Phrase:

Here's hoping to a fabulous 2010! Anyone make any fun resolutions they want to share? My resolution is to play more Catch Phrase. I'm declaring 2010 the year of the Game Night. Get excited!

How Long Will I Be Sick?

I am sick. Seriously, I am sick. Like, chills then hot flashes, sore throat, tight chest, gross, hate the world sick. I am not happy. This all started on Tuesday... and has progressively gotten worse since then. With the marathon two days away, I am not happy.

So, I'm wondering how long this kind of thing lasts. What do you do when you are wondering something? You Google. So I Googled "how long will i be sick?" I click on the link to Yahoo Answers and come to a page where "Amy J" asked, "How long does it take to get over a cold? I'm sick! I can't be sick!" That sounds pretty similar to me right about now.

The answer from someone named "Smiley": "I am sick too, and I really hate being sick, but sometimes we just have to deal with it. Someone once told me that God knows when we need to slow down in our lives, and so we get sick because we are forced to rest and take care of ourselves."

Really? Really Smiley??? GFY. I bet you aren't running 26 miles on Saturday.

Anyways, please send good vibes my direction that I may somehow miraculously get over this thing by Saturday morning! If anyone has any advice on how to speed recovery, I'm all ears!