Garden of Doom

You know those people who post pictures of all their garden bounty on Facebook?  Yeah, I'm not one of those people.  Mainly because I don't have any garden bounty.  Those people posting those pictures, make me sad.  My garden is sad.  Let's take a look at all the sadness...

Embarrassed Tomatoes.

My tomato plants are huge and full and healthy.  One of them is even blooming like crazy.  But all the blooms just dry up and die.  No tomatoes.  The other one looks like its going to bloom, but then nothing is there.  Sadness.  I think they are embarrassed that I planted them in Lowe's buckets.  Pretty pots for sure next year.  I'm sorry, tomato plants.  I didn't know you were so sensitive.

The day after I took these pictures I went out and looked at plant number one, and literally got tears in my eyes when I saw a tiny tiny little green tomato popping out.  Tears.  I was so excited I made Drew come out and see.  His response? 

"That doesn't look like a tomato."  

Like I said, he doesn't get excited about vegetables.  Where's Jack when I need him?

On to the row of doom...

Row of Doom.

My zucchini plant never really did anything this year.  It keeps growing, but as soon as new leaves sprout, the other ones die.  It is a sad sad zucchini plant.  I'm leaving it there... just in case it decides to take on a better perspective and thrive. 

Thrive, damn it.

My sole kale plant was doing so well at the beginning of the summer!  He was growing like crazy.  Then all of a sudden these tiny black bugs started attacking him and literally ate every single leaf until he was nothing but stems.  He's making a slow comeback, but still looks like the smallest, saddest kale ever.

Teeny tiny sad kale.

In brighter news, the cukes are making some progress.  I can always count on my cukes.

Baby cucumbers.

My eggplant is growing beautifully.  Eggplant are usually late bloomers, so I'm just happy he seems to be thriving so far.  I'll look forward to eggplant in August.  Fingers crossed!

Don't let me down Mr. Eggplant.

In other news, a Daddy Long Legs lives in my eggplant.  He's there every time I go to water.  What should we name him?

"I love eggplant."

The peppers are sprouting tiny little pepper guys.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up since my last little pepper jumped off the plant to an early death when he was the size of my thumb.  Let's hope these guys have a better outlook on life.

Happy Pepper.

Somewhere along the way I decided that the reason my tomatoes weren't turning into tomatoes was because we don't have enough bees to pollinate them.  So I Googled "how to attract more bees" and found out you can actually keep your own hive.  They pollinate all your veggies, and make honey.  Score! 

When I shared this idea with Drew he immediately shot me down and told me to stop living in Jamieland.  Rude.  I figured I could talk him into it eventually.  But after viewing a video on how to catch a swarm of bees, I'm pretty sure beekeeping isn't for me. 

The upside to all this garden doom?  I get to spend lots of time outside in the sunshine, with my puppies.  And they are hilarious.

Doesn't Mya look like she's about to take flight? :)

MmmKay.  Randomness over.  Happy gardening to you.  But if you post pictures of all your big red tomatoes on Facebook, I'm going to defriend you.  Mom, I'm talking to you.