You got jokes?

When I was younger, my dad told me once that God likes to play jokes on humans so he can sit up in heaven and laugh at us.* I'm pretty sure this is one of those jokes.

Hey. There's my gym:


Looks like a lot of construction going on in front of my gym. What are they building in front of my gym???


Wait... does that say what I think it says???

This is a joke, right?



Are you kidding me??? They are building a Dunkin Donuts in front of my gym. A Dunkin Donuts. This could get ugly.

While I can talk a mean game about eating clean and going organic, I turn into Homer Simpson the second I even get a whiff of a donut. My saving grace has been that there are no donut shops in our area. I would literally have to drive to Mission to get a donut... and I'm a bit too lazy for that... but don't think its never happened.

Oh, and look! They have a drive-thru! Fabulous! I won't even have to get out of the car! This way I won't have to subject the other hungry donut customers to my post-gym-stink... or, more likely, my just-rolled-out-of-bed-and-hungry-for-a-sugar-fix-crazy-eyed-self.

So, if you happen to notice me getting a bit more round in the face and plump in the tummy this summer, you'll know why. And if anyone is wants to join in the fun, you know where to find me. Its not at 24 Hour Fitness.

*My dad shared this gem of wisdom while we were having our one and only "sex talk". So if you were ever wondering why I make dumb jokes when I'm in awkward situations, its because I was taught to do so from a very young age.

**Oh, and please imagine me driving back and forth through the intersection at 75th and Metcalf, trying to get a good shot of Dunkin Donuts. Its not safe. Not safe. Steer Clear.