Dear Clorox,
Your website gives handy tips on all kinds of useful things like how to reduce sponge bacteria, brighten whites, and ban mildew from the bath. However, I couldn't find the section that tells me how to go about cleaning up after my dog goes bat shit crazy and runs through every room of the house, urinating all the while.
Where do I start? I find myself frozen in one spot because no matter which way I step, my foot will inevitably land in piss. Should I grab my Clorox ReadyMop as you suggest for disinfecting floors? Seems like that would only serve to push the urine around. How do you suggest I proceed?
There is also a noticable lack of information on your website about how to rid the house of the smell of urine. I clicked on "Toilet Bowls" as that is usually where the urine is, but you suggest the Clorox ToiletWand System. And while the disinfecting head seems handy for reaching under the rim of the toilet bowl, it seems significantly less handy for reaching under my dining room table.
I perked up when I saw that there is a section for "kid's rooms" since surely children have the same tendency to run about their home while peeing themselves, but I faced dissapointment again as I saw the only suggestion offered that even vaguely had to do with urine was that I use Clorox Disinfecting Wipes to disinfect toilet training equipment. I suspect if I had thought to pursue toilet training with this beast I wouldn't be in the pickle I am today.
So in closure, I ask that you update your website to be more mindful of the everyday mishaps that come with owning a pet. In addition to a solution for the hardwood floors turned urine swimming pool, I ask that you also consider the equally common instances of poo in the shoe and vomit on the cell phone.
Pet owners need disinfectant solutions as much as if not more than the average Suzie Home-Maker. And I will go so far to say that my urine swimming pool is a bit more urgent that Suzie's need for the whitest whites. Please consider these requests.
Best,
Jamie Gibson
5 comments:
That is the greatest thing i have ever read!! you are certainly my blog of note.
Hilarious! But I'd like to see pictures included next time. :) Good luck with the clean up...and the smell.
I am speechless. But this is hilarious. I'm sorry you had to clean up pee.
This explains last night's text... I'm sorry friend! WTF, Ari? (I'm assuming it was Ari??? Maybe that's an unfair assumption.)
Clorox had better get on the ball with this one. And maybe send you a free sample. ;-)
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