Well, we made it to 20! My only goal in Seattle was to BQ. I feel like this should be a given. I went up an age group so my qualifying time went up by 5 minutes. For a time in my life, every race was a BQ if I wanted it... not so much anymore.
I did not research this race. A few people told me they heard it was hilly. I blew it off. I'm not scared of hills. I'd also been dealing with some lingering calf issues and a fun new injury to my hip. Getting older has not been as graceful as I'd hoped.
So I lined up on race day with the 3:30 pacer. We started running and immediately hit the hills. No worries. I held the pace and felt good. On the uphills, I slowed my pace and worked to make up time on the downhills. This seems like a good strategy, right?
The sun was out, even though the forecast called for rain. It was getting warm so I poured water on my head at every aid station. I lost the pace group around mile 10. This was discouraging, but my mile splits were still around 8 minutes per mile... perfect.
As the miles went on my pace slowed... the hills continued but nothing terrible. I was still in a good place when I passed Drew heading into the final out-and-back.
So here's where things took a turn. I was loving the out-and-back because I was able to see the lead runners coming in. This was so much fun! And I told myself that they even though I was going up hill right now, look at them going downhill! I'd be flying by the finish!
This did a couple of things to me mentally... first, it made the finish seem closer than it was. In truth, I was only at mile 19. As I crested that hill I realized that I had another insanely huge hill ahead of me. It was a doozy. I kept my spirits up and pushed hard on the downhill.
As I was going up the next giant hill, I kept telling myself that I just had to make it up and then I'd get to turn around and go down. About halfway up I crossed the 20-mile marker and I realized my math was way off. I was not going to turn around at the top. This was a total mind-f*ck. I reached the top and realized there was so much more to come... and that I'd be climbing this hill again.
Again, I pushed hard on the downhill... still fighting for that 3:40 BQ. The course turned into a park and suddenly we were running on trails... hilly gravel trails. I kept battling mentally. I kept telling myself "I can do hard things".
Once out of the park, I was finally on my way back toward the finish line. I was hurting so bad. Even the downhills were killer. It was on a big downhill that I wanted so badly to stop and walk. I kept telling myself I could not walk on the downhill. I could walk on an uphill or at an aid station but NOT on the downhill.
Then at mile 23 the 3:40 pacer passed me.
I started walking... on the downhill. And I let every physical and emotional pain wash over me.
I was defeated.
I walked a lot, tried to run, walked some more. The 3:50 pacers passed me. I told myself not to cry until the finish.
The last 3 miles were slow and painful. I was miserable. As I approached the finish line I felt emotion wash over me... but I did not cry. I crossed the finish line with no sign of Drew. Apparently when the 3:50 pacers came in he thought for sure he'd missed my finish and went to look for me. He had no idea I had slowed down so much.
As soon as I finished the clouds came, the temp dropped, and it started to rain. Of course it did. In the confusion at the finish, we had a hard time finding each other and I ended up sitting in the cold rain for about 20 minutes. I finally used a stranger's phone to get a hold of Drew and at that point I lost it. I just sat there in the rain crying. It was awful. Not my best moment.
But then we found each other and made it back to our Air B&B. Drew got me coffee and I showered and warmed up and took a tiny nap and everything was fine. In the moment it was the worst. The worst. But I guess this too shall pass.
That afternoon we made our way to Washington University where we filled up on Thai food... my favorite post-race meal. Then we went to the Oiselle Flagship Store! I'd been dying to go and Drew is such a trooper for spending an afternoon shopping for running clothes after he just spent a morning watching a road race. Can we agree he's the best?
This blog is nothing but a way for me to record my races anymore... but it used to be so much more. And I'm so happy I captured such sweet stories about my puppy dog. He has defined our lives for so long and we are having a tough time figuring out who the Gibsons are without him. Our story is so much fuller because he was in it.
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